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[STORY] Tears Of A Helpless Woman Episode 11 – 13

Published by on April 23rd, 2020.


 

Episode 11

When we got home I helped take the items in the house while Stella talked to Atusaye.

 

Mrs. Martin’s was in the living room and she asked me to join her as soon as I finished packing.

 

I quickly packed up and joined Mrs. Martins in the living room.

“How are you dear?” She greeted me.

“Am well thank you” I responded as I settled on the couch.

“Dear I called you here to let you know that my sisters will be coming back this evening. They have some big personalities but they are very nice. One of them is your age mate actually and the other one is slightly older” she said.

“Well I just wanted to tell you that” she said.

“Oh OK.. Thank you Mrs. Martins” she said.

I was ready for another chapter with the ladies around, maybe that would help me forget about Atusaye

When I stepped outside Stella and Atusaye were still talking so I bypassed them to go to my apartment.

“When people are talking you join in the conversation” Stella said teasingly.

“No I’m good” I responded as I passed.

“You promised to take me for a drink” Stella said to Atusaye.

I did not bother to hear Atusaye’s response as I walked on, it was really none of my business.

Stella came to get her few items saying she was going for a drink with Atusaye. She had just knocked off so I figured she was telling the truth.

Reading was my comfort so every time I had a lot on my mind I chose to read. However, I was feeling something different. I didn’t want to read or document my life anymore. I still wanted to write but this time I had a different view. I wanted to write how i was feeling because I was feeling something. Something I couldn’t explain.

I got a pen and a new book which I had not yet scribbled in. Thoughts went through my mind but I couldn’t come up with a title except “to whom it may concern” . slowly inspiration came and I jotted down my feelings:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.

I don’t know how I feel but I know I feel something. A lonely girl shuttered inside, I wish i could escape my reality even just for a moment and go back to that moment when he asked me to join him for dinner.

I wish I could go back to the time he met me and change my route. Maybe if I got a bus to the village I wouldn’t be feeling this way.

Am I ungrateful? How can I describe this feeling?. Its a feeling that over powers me. I could give up on everything i have just to live that night once More. Oh life! How selfish can you be?. One moment you wave happiness in my face and the next minute I am breathing pain.

I long for that day and night, for when he fed me that cake the whole world stopped and when he held my hand its like heaven was clapping for me.

I hate to admit my feelings and in fact I hate to even have these feelings. Lonely be no my heart or my body will grow weary. I’m not ungrateful.. I’m just a girl who doesn’t understand her feelings.

################

As I prepared dinner in the main house my heart ached as I counted the hours that Atusaye had been out. What was wrong with me? Atusaye was engaged and very much taken.

I had never felt this way for anybody and I was worried this feeling would hurt me eventually.

Just went I was getting done with dinner Atusaye came home with Clara and Joy. The ladies were beautiful and very friendly.

They were excited to be home and they quickly introduced themselves.

“My name is Clara I come after Atusaye” Clara said

“And am Joy, I’m the baby of the family” she giggled.

“I am Mwansa the house maid…”

“No no you don’t use that word, you are family” Joy interrupted.

“We don’t have maids here” Joy added.

Atusaye had gone straight to the bedroom when they arrived.

I started setting the table and the ladies offered to help making my job easier. I was impressed at how good the girls were to me.

Mr and Mrs Martin’s had not left there room until it was time for supper.

Mr. Martin’s asked me to stay behind for supper and i joined everyone one on the dinner table.

It was very weird sitting opposite Atusaye as we both tried to ignore each other. Everyone kept conversation except Atusaye and I.

“Atu it’s very unusual for you to be quiet.. What’s happening?” Clara teased.

“I’m enjoying my food” he responded without looking at her.

After dinner the ladies offered to do the dishes and I went to my apartment.

I was just about to tack in when my phone rang.

“Hello”..

” hai please come outside ” Atusaye said.

“Outside where?” I asked.

Outside the gate. I’m parked outside the gate. I want us to talk somewhere will be back shortly” he said.

“But where are we going it’s late and Mrs. Martins might..’

” she is sleeping” he interrupted.

“No.. I can’t.. I’m sorry” I responded before hanging up.

My heart raced and every part of me wanted to go but I couldn’t. After saying a short quick prayer I turned my phone off and covered my face.

Suddenly I heard a loud bang almost like someone was trying to break down my door.

I quickly opened the door and there he was, my weakness.

‘Mwansa if you don’t want to come with me then you and I will talk from here” he said.

“Its not safe here we might give the security guard unnecessary ideas” I opposed.

“Then you know what to do” he said.

“OK let me change I’m coming” I responded.

Atusaye sat and waited on my door step as I changed.

EPISODE 12

“Are you done?” He asked me.

“Yes im almost done.. give me two minutes” I responded.

“I will go before you and you can follow me slowly” he said.

When Atusaye was out of sight, I tip toed to the gate and pretended to be busy on my phone when I reached security

Atusaye was already in the car and off we drove to a secluded place where he found a spot to park.

###############

“Mwansa do you think I’m after your body?” He asked as he turned off the engine.

I didn’t know what to say so my head hang low as my eyes focussed on my lap

Atusaye grabbed my right hand and changed his sitting position to face me.

“Look at me” he said.

I wasn’t ready so I ignored him and kept staring on my lap.

“My love look at me” he said calmly.

My mind went crazy and my stomach became hot just by hearing his voice utter those words.

Did I hear him correctly or was I imagining things. Was he playing with me?

“Mwansa my love” he said as he played with my hand..

” I’m not going to beat about the bush. I can’t stand it anymore. I think am in love” Atusaye said.

I was so shocked to hear him say those words and it was then that I lifted my head to look at him.

“Please stop.. You can’t be telling me that Atusaye you are engaged”.. I responded.

” yes I am but so what?. Is it my fault?” He responded.

Oh dear Lord this wasn’t funny.. Everything in me was jiggling.

“Am waiting for your response” he said.

“I have nothing to say. I just want to go home” I said while still hoping he doesn’t take me home.

Atusaye got his phone from the pocket and opened a message which was sent from my phone.

” I know you didn’t write this message” he said.

When I read through the message I was truly shocked.

“Why would she do this?” I said.

“Oh… So you already have an idea who it is” he said.

“It should be Stella . yes it just has to be Stella” I said to convince myself.

“That’s right.. I thought about it and I noticed her behaviour today” he said.

“When you went clubbing? How was it by the way?” I asked

“Who went clubbing?” Atusaye asked me calmly

“Did she lie about that too?” I asked.

Atusaye laughed and clapped his hands.

“Stella never ceases to amuse me” he said.

“I want to hear everything she’s ever told you about me”

“No .. Its not important it won’t change anything” I responded.

“Please am begging you. I’m just trying to clear my name so you know how genuine I am ” he said

“And then?” I asked.

“Your eyes are the window to your heart Mwansa and even though you can’t admit it, I know how you feel” he said.

I looked down and again afraid of admitting my feelings.

“Why did you leave her after using her?” I asked.

“Is that what you will do to me too? I’m an orphan. I’ve got no where to go” I said.

“Did you listen to what you just said? Do you even believe what you are saying?” He asked me.

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to know” I responded.

“Why? Because you are afraid that it might actually hurt you?”

“Atusaye what do you want from me? Please just tell me” I said.

“Can you at least look at me while you ask that question” he responded.

“No I can’t..” I responded shyly.

” you’re so naive and innocent. I just love it” He said in a soft voice.

“You already said it.. My eyes are the window to my heart” I responded

Atusaye lifted my chin up and without even thinking I allowed him to kiss me. I couldn’t even stop him or even pull away.

If I had to describe the feeling I would say…. No i really can’t describe the feeling but it was almost like I owned the world.

“I’m sorry” Atusaye said as he pulled away.

“Please take me home” I said.

” Mwansa.. There’s hope. There’s really hope for you and i.” He said.

My eyes failed me and tears quickly rolled down my cheeks.

“I hate to see you cry Mwansa, what did I do wrong?. Please forgive Me. You have to stop shedding tears”

” I don’t know what this feeling is but it over powers me. I have no strength to fight it but neither can I escape it” I said.

“Well then fight for it” he said.

“How?”

“Believe in me And hold my hand” he said.

“I can’t believe you Atusaye.. You are engaged to be married and…”

“Of course I am engaged to the most arrogant woman on earth!” He interrupted.

“OH and did you just realise that? You must have known well before today but no… you’re telling me you didn’t know until I showed up in your life?” I said as cried. I could hear myself shouting but a lot of things were going through my mind.

“She was my first love.. She had basically showed me the world of dating and yes I didn’t know things would get to this between you and i. If I knew I would have not brought you to my sisters house in the first place” he said

“Oh.. So you would have left me on the streets looking for a place to live” I asked in shock

“No we would be telling a different story today. Yes it was mare attraction at first but slowly turned out serious. After that birthday dinner I knew something had to be there, something more than just mare attraction” he said.

Atusaye pecked my forehead and later wiped my tears with his hands.

“Atusaye please what we are doing isn’t right. Let’s go home and let’s forget about everything. You know we come from two different worlds and the last thing I needed is this kind of assurance… It will take me nowhere” he said.

“My mother always told me that In the abundance of water, a fool is thirsty. He responded.

” what does that mean?” I asked

“I can’t let this opportunity pass me by.. The opportunity of being with a wonderful lady like yourself. If I end up miserable after this it will be my choice” he said

“Atusaye don’t make promises you can’t keep, please let’s just forget this and let’s go home” I interrupted.

“Come on let’s take a walk outside” he insisted.

“No that’s not necessary. I think its time to go home” I opposed.

“Please I just want you to see something, I promise we won’t be long” he said.

I opened the door and came out, he locked up before holding my hand and we started walking

Atusaye tapped his phone and said he had a dedication for me. So I waited and finally the song started playing. It was a track by Israel “hold on”.

He specifically recited the words ” fili oko tuleya ni gwililile chabe babe”

“You remind me of myself Mwansa” Atusaye said.

“How?” I asked

“Well we weren’t always comfortable, I lost my dad when I was quite young and mum became a maid.” He said.

“Really? I would have never imagined” I responded.

I was filled with shock because Atusaye
looked like a man who had it all from birth.

“Yes Mwansa my mum worked for Mr. Martins dad, by then Mr. Martins was a child up until he grew up. Mr Martins fell in love with my sister and that’s how our lives changed” he said.

“No .. That’s not true. It sounds too good to be true..” I said.

“That was exactly my reaction when I heard that he was going to sponsor my education. He educated us all. I have great respect for that man. He is my second father” he said.

“Wow this God is amazing” I said as I looked up.

“Yes he is….. so you see why this arrangement isn’t strange for me?” He asked

I looked at him and smiled.

“You’re blessed” is all I said.

“And so are you” he responded

“I’m scared Atusaye”

Atusaye stopped and he hugged me tight.

“I know.. But you don’t have to be. Just lean on me” he said.

“I’m confused Atusaye.. I’m so confused” I said as I rested my head on his chest

“You have every right to be because I am too but I want to be more than your friend. I want to give this friendship a chance. Please give me this chance” Atusaye whispered

“And Claudine?” I asked.

Before Atusaye could even answer me his phone started ringing.

“Honey hold on a second let me just pick this call” Atusaye said as he moved away from me.

His face suddenly changed when he looked at his phone. His facial expression was worrying and I saw he was panicking.

“My sister is calling.. She rarely calls when I’m out.” Atusaye said.

” Could she be aware that am with you?” I asked in panic.

Atusaye didn’t respond but we rushed to the car. I had left my phone in the car and when I got there my phone started ringing. It was Mrs. Martins who was now calling my line.

“Oh Lord I am finished!!!”.

EPISODE 13

“Relax and just hope for the best” Atusaye said.

Atusaye gave me a kiss and he asked me to calm down again before starting the engine

As we approached we suddenly saw smoke escaping the yard.

“Oh my God what is happening..” Atusaye said as he looked in shock.

He pulled over houses away and we both rushed to the house as there was a crowd and fire men were trying to stop the fire.

I was confused and so many thoughts ran through my mind. Atusaye managed to ran before me and he pushed himself through the crowd.

I overhead people saying someone had died and I was shuttered. What did we do? Perhaps if we were home this wouldn’t have happened.

I was hysterical and I knew I was in trouble. I was bad luck on the family. Who had died? Why did I allow myself to get into his car?..

As thoughts ran through my head something was clear, if I stayed behind the wrath I would face would be too much. I had to go.

Without even thinking about it, I started running. I ran so fast as I cried. I ran just as I was with nothing in my hands.

“Lord please forgive me…. Forgive me dear Lord” I cried as I ran.

I passed through thorny bushes and I noticed some bleeding on my legs but I kept running through the plots.

My legs were now feeling pain and I finally stopped running.

I was far away from the house but I could see the smoke escape into the sky.

I had no idea what time it was or where I was going.

As I walked on I came across some unfinished building which had a roof on one side. I wondered who lived there or if someone actually lived there.

“I need a place to lay my head” I thought.

I slowly walked into the building and noticed it was empty. It was quite dark but I had no choice, I sat in the corner and quickly fell asleep.

#################

The sun hit my face from the large window opening and I stretched myself. It was morning and I had no where to go and no food to eat. I couldn’t face my life or my problems, I had to start afresh.

My legs had many tiny bruises but luckily the blood had clotted

When I stepped outside I couldn’t even recognise where I was or which route I had taken. A lot of farms surrounded the area and people were few.

I saw a bicycle coming from a distance with a man who was singing out loud.

“Excuse me sir I need directions to the main road” I said.

The man and I could not understand each other as he spoke a very strange language.

A few cars by passed me and none of them stopped to ask where I was going.

I saw a very nice mansion that was on a huge farm. The mansion looked like it was owned by a wealthy person, the first thought that crossed my mind was to go and ask for a job.

After hitting the gate many times I finally gave up and sat on the pavement near the gate. Almost an hour passed and suddenly a van came and parked at the gate, a white old woman was driving the van.

“Excuse me dear how can I help you?” She said.

I quickly got up and looked at her.

“I am looking for a job” I said.

“A job? Where are you from?” She asked me.

I decide to give her my uncles address and explained everything concerning my uncle while omitting Mrs. Martins.

“Dear kindly open the gate for me and come in too” she said

She drove in and I closed the gate before I walked to the house.

I was welcomed by a man who was about Atusaye’s age. He was also white.

“This is my son his name is Shane” she said.

Shane and I shook hands and we entered in the house together. I was led into the sitting room of the beautiful mansion and I sat next to the woman who was still unknown.

She offered me food and we sat talking as she encouraged me. The woman who I now knew as aunty Bertha offered me a room where I could spend a night and she left the house to do some grocery shopping.

As I sat in the room I thought of my Darling Atusaye, he must have been wondering where I was and why I had decided to run away. Tears rolled my cheeks and I wiped them quickly, maybe he would marry Claudine after all… I thought

################

I had been at aunty Bertha’s house for a week, even though she told me that she had no job for me, she did not chase me. She was also kind enough to buy me a couple of clothes.

Aunty Bertha was a wonderful woman, she lost her husband to a young Zambian girl who he eloped with and now she was staying with her 5 children. Although Shane was the only one at home the time I spent with her.

Shane was nice and funny, he loved to cook a lot and he liked to get me involved when he was cooking.

One afternoon aunty Bertha called me to the living room after she returned home.

“Dear I’m not sure if I have anything for you concerning work but I ran an orphanage, its not around this place its quite a distance from here” she said.

I listened attentively as she spoke.

“My orphanage is in an area called 15miles, you mentioned that you ended in 7th grade right?. She asked me.

” yes mum” i responded.

“What can I offer you?….” She said as she looked up to think for a moment.

“Madam I can read and write very well. I just don’t have qualifications” I responded.

“Is it? Are you Christian?” She asked me.

“I know and love the Lord so much but I don’t belong to a church and I am not baptised. I never had the chance to” I responded.

“Would you like to be?” She asked me.

“Yes I would love to move my faith further, I believe God has truly been there for me” I said.

“That’s good. I really like you.” She said

“I will give you a few short novels that you can read through for now and they have questions at the end. I will assess you based on those books” she said.

“You can sit in the living room over there and let me know when you are done” she said.

I went to the living room and aunty Bertha gave me the two books to read.

The books were very interesting and I quickly started answering the questions.

When aunty Bertha saw my answers she was so impressed. She even asked me to read a chapter and she said my pronunciations were perfect.

“My dear you have really impressed me with your work” she said.

“We have a literacy class which we introduced and we have been looking for people that could take up this class. Your job will be reading stories to them and making sure they can also read and understand. The children will move from one book at a time depending on how well they do” aunty Bertha said

“Do you think you can manage that?” She asked me

I smiled and nodded my head. .

“Madam it will be my pleasure” I responded.

” that’s wonderful then you can start tomorrow” she said

I was so excited and I thanked her a lot.

“The orphanage has houses for members of staff so you can occupy one there, I would however encourage you to start furthering your studies. Most teachers there are doing so” she said.

“Madam i would love to go back to school” I responded.

Shane, aunty Bertha’s son drove me to the orphanage in the afternoon.

He was very jovial and narrated a lot of things about the orphanage to me.

When we arrived he went to the staff room to get the keys for my new house while I waited in the car.

Shane came back with a set of keys and he unlocked my house. The house had three bedrooms, nicely built and well furnished too. I was shocked.

“You will get your free dstv subscription this month but starting next month you take care of the bill” Shane said with a smile.

“Oh thanks sir,” I said.

“Most of the houses are occupied so you should have company. I will be leaving now. Take care” he said.

When Shane left I went round the apartment and I still couldn’t believe my eyes.

A lot of things were running through my mind and I thanked God that this was a new step further to realise my dreams.

I still mourned Atusaye so badly but i was comforted by the fact that he had declared his love for me and that will be the memory I would live with forever. I wished I had stayed but then again I knew my route with Atusaye was dangerous and if the Lord wanted me back there he wouldn’t have made provision for me through aunty Bertha.

“Stop crying Mwansa, it is well. Where ever the Lord leads us.. It is well” I said to myself.

To be continued!

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